Question from: “Single Mother of Five”

Betty Wills

Dear Betty – I am a single mother, early thirties with five kids, ages 14 years to eighteen months.  My oldest is the result of teenage love.  After the baby was born, my boyfriend disappeared.

A few years later, I fell in love with a man fifteen years older than me.  We were together five years, and had two children before I found out he was already married.  He moved away to find work, and sent me a little money every now and then.  After a year or so, the money stopped, but he continued to send Christmas presents.

I started dating again, fell in love, and had my 4th child. Before the baby was a year old, the father moved to Holland, and I never heard from him again.

A few years later, the father of my 2nd and 3rd child moved back to the island.  I had my 5th child with him. I think he really loves me because he keeps coming back, and said he wouldn’t leave at all if he could find work here.  He’s leaving again in a few months.

I don’t know what to do.  I love him, but I need someone here full time who can help me raise and support the children.
 
ANSWER: Two MIAs (missing in action), and a multiple hit and run are not favorable odds. In the States, they’re called “dead-beat dads”, and when they get caught, they are held financially responsible. Not what’s happening in your situation.  You were left as a single parent with full responsibility of raising your children alone.  It’s time for you to start thinking smarter.

Honey, if you have any more kids by different fathers, you’ll need a software database just to keep up!  You can’t afford a computer right now, so if you’re going to have sex, at least use protection. You should be practicing safe sex anyway.  If he refuses to use a condom, give him the boot, not the bootie.

It’s difficult enough for two parents to raise five kids, which tells me you’re a pretty special Mom who deserves a special man in her life.  Don’t settle for anything less.
 
Joke of the Day
 
A young man took his girlfriend home to meet his parents. His mother was thrilled with his choice, and couldn't wait for the wedding, but his father was upset.  The son asked, “Dad, you don’t seem to like her, but Mom likes her a lot.” The father explained, “Son, there's nothing wrong with the girl. It's just that I cheated on your mother a long time ago, and your girlfriend is my daughter by that woman.”  So the boy dumped her, found another girlfriend, and took her home to meet his parents.  His mother was delighted with her, but his father again told him the girl was actually his half-sister. The boy lost his temper and told his mother what his father said. Furious, the mother shouted, “Don't listen to him, sweetheart! He isn't even your father!”